The last night in Cotswold.

It is the last night in Cotswold. Although the whole building was just left with me now, I've still survived through the few days of solitude.

Tomorrow, will be a journey back to my home. The home which shines out of my heart. A place I can regain my manja-ness and enjoy the love and caring of my family and relatives. However, it is a weird saddening kind of feeling to think about going home. It's weird, isn't it? I felt somehow home sick when the days to get back are nearer. The feeling arises when I come to think of the lovely summer in home will only last for three months. And then, there will be another 9 months of long eager waiting for the next reunion. But this is my choice. When you gain something, you'll definitely lose some. There's surely some precious moments about my family and friends which I won't be able to join in. The absence of me in the subsequent repeated nine months of studying abroad in the future four years. Nah, I was being a bit too into my feeling when I thought of this.

When you ask me what is the biggest thing that I learn from studying abroad and travelling around? Perhaps I would say it's about learning how to appreciate and how to let go. I appreciate for being able to be at home when I have experienced the tiredness and hastiness of travelling; Within a year, from travelling to moving to a new house, it teaches me more about experiencing the impermanence of life. The environment around me is always changing; The relationships and things are always changing; There are, until I find till the very end, nothing for me to clutch on during your journey of life. No matter how nice the accommodation is, there is always a time for me to say goodbye. For the time being, I have to farewell to the Cotswold building; After 4 years, it will be UK; And then, when I am as old as an old women, I have to be prepared to farewell to my life. More than this, I should be prepared for not able to say goodbye anytime which I don't know when the death suddenly knocks on my door.

Because of the experience of impermanence, here comes the appreciation of every moment. Because the summer at home is so short, just like when you realise that life is never too long, I want to try my best to please everyone I met when I am back. To be more obedient as a daughter and grandchild, to be more truthful and selfless as a friend. To leave more happy memories behind when you're with a person, to hope to give them a smile instead of any other unpleasant feelings. You'll start to forgive about the imperfection of them and focus on the kindness and joy of life. If I were never have the chance to study abroad, I would have treated everything around me as usual and was thought to live the life in a dull way. It's not the life which is dull, it's me who didn't see the beauty of it until I experience the partial absence of it.

Besides of appreciation, I've also learn a bit about letting go. When life goes on smoothly and easily, we tend to grab some materials to be part of our memories or souvenirs. If you're a real traveller,You'll bring nothing back. Because, too much of things and memories and burden makes your journey harder. The step will be getting smaller and smaller until you're forced to stand still at a point, and decide to throw away some of the stories and keep only the most delicate ones. When we're moving stuffs to new house, isn't it so hard to bring all the stuffs along? The more you grab, the more troubles you've got too. The time I was packing, I realised I didn't really use most of the stuffs that I kept nicely in my drawer. They're just being pulled out occasionally, eg the time when you're moving stuffs. What a person needs in a day is actually very little, but the amount a person wants to bring along can be dreadful. Be simple; I can bring stuffs to a new house, but I can't bring anything that I own now to a new life.

Later when I wake up, I'll be leaving this place very soon.  悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄地来。That's all I wish to do now. =）